IFS (Internal Family Systems) is a therapy modality created by Dr. Richard Schwartz in the 1980s. The concept is that we all have an internal system of various parts that are working diligently to keep us safe. Pixar’s Inside Out and Inside Out 2 displays this concept well. Riley’s inner parts; anxiety, fear, disgust, etc., all take turns at the control board. They impact Riley’s thinking and actions, even if it goes against what Riley would normally choose to do.
Have you ever been so enveloped by anger and lashing out at someone that you can almost step outside of yourself and think ‘What am I doing!? Who is this?’ That’s your anger part taking over the controls, trying to help.
With IFS we get to know all of our protectors and build a relationship with them. We talk with them one on one to hear their concerns. We clarify the ways that they are helping and not helping. A relationship is built to where the part feels less compelled to jump in and take you over. The part learns to trust you and you learn to rely on its insight.
These protectors not only work to keep us functioning in our lives, but they also keep traumatic memories at bay. The parts of us that are hurting and holding onto trauma are called exiles. These exiles are stuck in those worst moments of your life, reliving that memory over and over. Sometimes those exiles slip through the protectors and show up in our daily life as triggers.
Eventually, with the permission of the protectors, we can go to the exiles and help free them from their trauma prison. Helping these exiles can be emotional and rewarding.
Engaging in IFS can sometimes feel a bit weird. No, you don’t have multiple personality disorder. Yes, I will ask you to talk to your imaginary parts that need attention. If we just lean into the weird and approach with curiosity, we can learn amazing things about your system and how it operates to help you.
The IFS therapy approach is slower, gentler, and has big impacts on day-to-day functioning. We are still using IFS to resolve trauma, just in a different way. I find that using IFS and EMDR together makes the trauma healing experience more comfortable for clients.